(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘nothing’ usually end in ‘fine’.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of ‘nothing’.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. ‘That’s okay’ means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
Thanks Mike
I lost a truck because I didn’t know this.
Take heed men!
Fine. Go ahead and make jokes about us. Thanks a lot. *loud sigh*
Whatever.
You’re a complete pussy if you’re a guy and you allow this list to apply to you.
This only applies to weak minded fools who let themselves get pushed around.
Alpha males for the win!
“Alpha males.” *snort* Aren’t those like unicorns? You know, they only exist in fantasies… and poop glitter.
Right on, Mike.
Baby , is it ok that I posted that last comment?
pussy
Well I still dont understand women DAMN IT,the loud sigh is when you know you are FUCK*ED and not in a good way, I mean you might as well go back home and forget that girl
You don’t have to be an alpha male to not be treated like a doormat. I’m just saying that you have no self-respect if you’re actually willing to live like that. It’s such a depressing thought that someone wouldn’t pack their stuff up and start looking for the next mate at the first sign of that.
Just Curious,
Most of this stuff is suppose to be funny, not really a social statment. If it hits close enough to home to make you defensive, well, that might suggest there’s a reason for it.
Women are insane. You either are strong enough to put up with it, and endure it, or you wander from chick to chick hoping to figure something out before it gets so weird you wander off again.
This alpha male stuff is fine on the field of play but when it comes right down to it, you’re much better off with a woman, and all that comes with it, than trying to prove you can outsmart them.
I wish you luck.
Mike F-
Amen, brother.
^^^^ Agreed ^^^^^
Guys, comon what good is being an alpha male if you dont have a gorgeous intelligent woman who challenges, questions, loves and respects you. Be serious, be honest and listen to the man, what he says in dead on. Remember if the woman in your life is happy, food is cooked and tastes better, sex will blow your mind, and all is well with the world. Ask my Man. He is sleeping right now after a fabulous dinner and an awesome blow job for desert! Holla!