Here is a game you can play on your next trip to Wal-Mart. Print out the Bingo card below and take it with you the next time you go to Wal-Mart.
Click to enlarge
Thanks Gene
We Scour the Web, so You Don't Have To!
We Scour the Web, so You Don't Have To!
They missed that ever growing American phenomenon, the Wal-Ass (obscenely obese persons who get out of breath walking from their car to the store front while heading in to purchase the latest Little Debbie creations).
This is no lie. A couple weeks ago I was at a Wal-Mart here in Kentucky (need I say more) and I saw this guy walking down the main aisle flossing his teeth with an empty plastic wal-mart bag. He was completely oblivious to the fact anyone was looking at him and he acted as if it was the most natural thing to do.
I am going to start taking photos with my cell phone camera and start posting them. There is truly some funny shit that goes on at wally world.
This would be a short game of bingo. I see ALL those if I absolutely have to go to Wal*Mart for something.
now now ppl. Lets not act like elitist snobs. Where i live there is a artist area about 2 miles away. I could play the same game there:
guy with apple computer and a beard
gay couple at a sidewalk cafe
teenage girl with piercings walking three mentally retarded ppl down the street.
aging hippies in leather jackets
etc.
This is why I love this site!!!
“Bingo!”
Some of this is way out of line – people on oxygen and those with amputations
aren’t particularly amusing, are they?
Isiah’s right – anyone could paint a similar picture of typical visitors to Saks or
Nordstrom’s – or even the typical patron at Eddie Bauer.
Just hang in there, folks – we may all be shopping at Wal-Mart soon.
Don’t think it can’t happen to you.
This is great! Now I can laugh @ Walmart instead of having panic attacks!
Better yet, open this up in photo shop and print across the top:
Provided for your entertainment by Wal-Mart
and at the bottom add:
Win Gift Cards, Today!
Oh, then leave 100 of them at the front door. Sorry, I forgot that part.
I am so glad my being on oxygen amuses you.
The point here is that all walks of life enter waldo world stores. This is extremely amusing to me, because I teach my kids to laugh at other people’s flaws, too. The best is when my 4 year old is yelling BINGO! and pointing to make sure I give her the bingo stamp. Either way this is funny shit….
Spellcheck is always useful for this sort of thing. Keeps you from looking like the offspring of someone who shops at Walmart.
I am definatiley going to try this next time i go to wally world plus im going to show this to my teacher and see wat thy say LMFAO!!!!!! But the cripple people realy get me gotta go to the twin cities fir that one. 🙁
As one who lost a limb in the service of this country, I resent being lumped in there.
How about replacing that one with “loud spanish-speaking family” because they seem to be at every Wal-mart around here.
I believe it goes without saying (except for those sensitive few) that the missing limb people lost that appendage while hopping freight trains or diving into the water at the bottom of the quarry, and those on oxygen are still smoking (away from the bottle of course, that is how they lost their eyebrows). I think a bonus point is the woman spanking her child and yelling at them “I tol you a tousand times not to hit you lille brotha”.
Given the fact that I have had to listen to everyone think Tourette’s is funny for years, I don’t care if someone is laughing about the amputees or people on oxygen. Fair is fair. Think about that next time you make fun of someone with Tourette’s or other disabilities that *you* find amusing.
How about a couple in there that say a Polygimist family of 18 waiting in the parking lot in their Excursion for their 4 mothers with Nextel phones in the store as if it is a Co-op mission. And how about a one that Walmart needs “Child tranquilizers and child leashes at front door”. They will figure it out.
You don’t have the 300# woman in Spandex. You have to get past her before it explodes to avoid the shrapnel.
I just quit a 3 year stint as a wally world cashier…I have seen all of these and more..! Let’s not forget the a**holes yelling at a helpless cashier…or the guy being ushered out of the store in cuffs by cops…and the red-faced guys buying tampax for thier gfs/wives…the old men sittin on the benches…and men holding purses for thier wives…then theres the arab in a turban who pulls out that foodstamp card….lordy, I need to write a book, lol
You guys need to stop crying about your problems and let us have some fun! I know everyone makes fun of something. Really though, they need to add a mexican joke.
*snorts with laughter*
Oh my goodness…these are SO true ~ and they’re FUNNY, I don’t care WHO you are.
I shop at Wally World for the bargains, but I also go there for the “feel-good” factor – I ALWAYS feel better about myself after a trip there (kinda like watching Springer to feel better about my life). I went to Wal*Mart shortly after I moved here (north Atlanta), and I was walking through the children’s clothing section to get across to the groceries, when some redneck STRAIGHT out of Deliverance passed me and said, “Nice rack”…I was so stunned I didn’t know how to react.
I mentioned it to a friend later, and was laughing told, “That’s south’n hospitality for ya!”
*roflmao!* Too funny, the Wally World realities…I’m carrying this BINGO card with me next time I go…
Denise,
Snorting is so unlady-like. LOL
Maybe your new friend was talking about the clothing fixtures in the kids department… unless of course you do have a nice rack. Wal*Mart does have some nice racks from time to time.
Like watching Jerry Springer, I like to watch COPS… then I feel like a decent human being.
I am still laughing. I don’t even shop at Wal*Mart but I could apply this to the Meijers that I shop at. I feel sorry for the people that are offened. I guess it’s better to feel sorry for you than to laugh at you? I don’t know, it’s a joke and if you can’t laugh at yourself then feel sorry for yourself if it makes you feel better.
I am thoroughly disgusted. As a white trash mother, I find it difficult to see the humor in bringing my child to the store without shoes on. Do you know how much time and effort it takes to find shoes? I mean, among the broken toys, empty packages of ramen noodles, dirty diapers, laundry, (both clean and dirty), empty cans of mountain dew my kids had for breakfast, and half empty beer bottles, those shoes could be anywhere!!! I’m better off taking my son to the store without shoes. It’s easier, and he’s going to be sitting in the cart anyway. He’s only 6 for christ sakes!
Ease up amputees and oxygen users. It’s a joke.
Bingo in a nano second.
To paraphrase a Bob Seger lyric:
“In 10 minutes you’ll be late for the door”
I believe a glaring omission is the lard ass hunched over the shopping cart, using it like a walker.
*********Well of course you could put this game into play anywhere(Saks, Mcdonalds, Needless Markup, TJ Maxx, and StarBucks) but no other company is known as well as Wal-Mart(and its shoppers). There is a something “special” about going to Wal-Mart, and seeing all the children with out shoes****************
*********If this hits you the wrong way, then you probably fall into at least two of the boxes:), so be proud of your oxygen cartin, shoeless wearing, bad BO, one legged butt and hold your head high in Wal-Mart.. Just pick a side of the isle and stay out of the way*****
funny stuff – i will play next time i go for sure. What about the family of 9 speaking Spanish loudly across the store like the are the only ones in there.
You could include the Wal-Parker, the Wal-Ass who keeps everyone waiting while s/he waits for someone to pull out of a parking space as close to the Twinkies as possible, thus requiring as little effort as possible to waddle to the Little Debbies!
Forgot the Pickup trucks in the parking lot with the bumper stickers – “Proud Union Member” and “Buy American”
Here are 3 more for you to add.
1. More than 10 middle eastern or mexican people spotted in 5 minutes.
2. Person on their scooter verbally threatening to run you over. (I swear this happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
3. Old person stealing your parking spot as you are about to pull in.
Okay I had to add the person on the scooter verbally yelling at you that he is going to run you over. I was there on Saturday gettin the rest of my Christmas shopping done. I was all the way over to the edge of the ilse with my cart when this very obese man with his oxygen tank on a scooter yelled…”You better get out of the way cause I am going to fast and will run over you.” Did I mention he was in the MIDDLE of the isle. Afraid for a moment the Christmas spirit slipped right out of me. As I quickly pulled my cart back out of the ilse to avoid being hit by this MASS heading my way ( I was afraid his oxygen tank might explode in the impact), I turned and said, “Maybe you should either learn to walk or slow that thing down then!” I love the bingo card and mine is going with me next trip. BTW….does that count as two boxes on my card?
“Someone with puke or blood on their cloths”. Do people walk around walmart carrying bloody cloths? If so, maybe the police should be notified. Maybe you meant bloody “clothes”?
Here are a few more to add:
At least 3 SEPARATE conversations NOT in English
Someone with at least 3 visible piercings (ears don’t count unless they are gauges)
Hair that is not a color people are born with
I’m going to print this and a couple of my own versions–my daughter and her friends want to go there New Year’s Eve for cheap entertainment. This will be fun!!
Australia’s answer to wallmart is kmart…i was there a few months ago and there were two little kids running around without any clothes on the bottom half…i didn’t see the parents anywhere but i thought how friggen slack is that.
Oh that is funny. And are some of these people honestly saying they DON’T shop at Wal-Mart? Along with McDonald’s, they are the only two American Institutions left. I did forget yard sales on purpose. I don’t know that being in a category in this card is any reason to hang your head or feel discriminated against! I’d take it as a compliment. I have to say, I once took my child to Wal-Mart with no shoes, but we walked out with some. Long story, open car window, feisty t-baller on the way to town, okay! Even so, there seriously does need to be something about someone carrying on conversations in other languages, because that never fails! Where we are, we have Navajo, Apache, Hispanic, and all too frequently, I stand in line sandwiched between two Native American families out to spend their government checks and I get caught in a conversation that makes no sense to my English-only ears! Thanks for this! It is great!
If we can’t laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at. If anyone has trouble finding these people come to the Yakima, Washington store. You will probably double your squares. Enjoy People seem to like doing WalMart over those other fancy stores because it is nationwide and so predictable. Not like Meijers or others(being nationwide). I did go to a Meijers in Michigan years ago what a trip that was.
wal mart frightens me. i don’t go there unless i feel that i have no other choice at the time. i feel like i’m having a panic attack every time i go in, and this doesn’t happen at any other place!! once i was there and stopped to look at a curtain. i set my purse on the floor for only a minute, and some woman picked it up and started looking through it! and i was right there! i had to tell her it was mine (as if she didn’t know) and she just casually handed it back to me and told me she liked it….well i’m sure she did!!
kEEP IT UP. GOD HAS A WAY OF TEACHING SUPERIOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU LESSONS YOU WON’T FORGET !
What about a shopper wearing nothing but camouflage
Don’t forget dad pushing a new 52″ plasma HDTV on a cart with two undernourished and badly dressed kids in tow.
Then there is the couple carrying on a loud verbal fight about infidelity.
Or my personal favorite… kids sitting in the aisle playing with toys that they got by ripping open the box.
Outstanding comments by the left wing whackos! OOO what if YOU had to leave a dirty diaper in a parking lot? Isiah and Crone- get a fuggin grip!
haha that funny i jsut played. and just went to walmart. i won!!! thats funny hahha
Before this bingo game, most of us were playing other games in wal-mart, just because it’s so funny to watch people and how they react. One time my husband and I took a box of condoms and when we went to the checkout, we went behind an older couple and without them seeing we set the box inside their cart and waited for them to check out!! IT WAS SOO FUNNY! The cashier scanned the box and the lady said WAIT I didn’t put that in here and looked at her husband and he said I didn’t Either…..HAHA! WHAT A REACTION!
I love going to the store and seeing someone on oxygen, buying cigarettes… its obvious you dont need those if you already cant breathe on your own…
And recently at my Walmart(in Texas, no less)–two Buddhist monks!
I can honestly say I have seen 13 of those things inside a wal mart.