Top Ten most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down … by David Letterman
10. The cucumber has left the salad.
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson..
6. Elvis is leaving the building.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
3. You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. Men may be From Mars … but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped…..
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.
Thanks Joni
Having grown up in southwestern PA, there’s only one way to say it: “Kennywood’s open!”
As a kid/teen, Mom would always say, “Close the barndoor, the horse is about to escape.”
If we were among other people, she would quietly ask, “Feel a draft?”
On rare occasions, I see a woman with her zipper unzipped. How does a man go about completing the same task?
Heres two more:
One, not so great…
“You selling hotdogs? No? then zip that thing up?” (or something to the equivalent).
Two, the one i use…
“You open for business or pleasure?”
beings from Oregon, I have no idea what Anonymous is talking about… good one DJ… so what your tryin to say is your hung like a draft horse… lol
Here is a few:
.
“That’s cute, now pull your zipper up”
.
(not politically correct) “Trolling for queers?”
.
“Hide your fruit basket”
“egg on your chin” (My mum says this one)
“You’re flying low”
When my daughter was 6 she told a boy, “You’ve got a hole in your pinata.”