If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate an 42-pound-boy wearing pound-puppy underwear and a superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.
Action man can be rotated nicely on a ceiling fan and kids understand the speed/rotation thing enough to place unsuspecting victims in the right chair at the right time to get smacked by Action man.
Kids will forget that the fan is on and walk through the room throwing something important up as they walk under the fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
When you hear the toilet flush and there is dead silence and no sign of the kid emerging from the toilet is also another giveaway that it’s “too late”.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke and lots of it.
A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes.
A king-size waterbed hold enough water to fill a 200-sq-foot house 4 inches deep.
There is a vast assortment of children’s toys that will pass through their digestive tracts. Also: buttons, stones, some types of pet food, Legos, and small Star Wars characters.
McGyver can teach us many things we don’t want to know.
No matter how much Jello you put into a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
VCRs do not reject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Always look in the oven before turning it on.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Putting McDonalds in the NEW oven’s warming drawer will produce lots of black smoke in just few minutes and flames high enough to go up the sides of the NEW stove.
Super glue is forever but the hospital can do a lot to help.
Toasters will explode if you put plastic into them. Check every electrical appliance before turning it on.
Even the range hood – people will hide chocolate up there and forget about it. [I have the feel that the culprit here is the author.]
Cats in the clothes dryer make a terrible noise.
Cats trapped in the fridge are sad and quite stiff.
Cats do not like being trapped in the bathroom when someone is showering.
Never show a cat his reflection in the mirror.
Never turn a hair dryer on a sleeping cat.
A cat with its tail on fire is stupid and stinks (same for a dog).
You can’t tie a homemade parachute to a cat and hope for good things to come from the experiment.
Cats don’t like being dressed in dolls’ clothes.
No matter how hard you try, you can never teach a dog to open the door to let himself out.
Younger brothers make excellent footballs or cannons – they just don’t bounce too well.
A 200 square foot house? Sounds more like a woman’s closet
You, sir, have never been married. That’s a woman’s shoe closet.
my parents thank you both, i have now been turned off to women for years
Enjoy it whilst it lasts.
Once you get hooked there is no going back, and they have alllll the power.