A traveling salesman’s car breaks down…

A traveling salesman’s car breaks down in the country, so he decides to call on the closest farmhouse.

When the farmer opens the door, the salesman says, “Sir, my car died just up the road. Could I stay here for tonight?”

The farmer says, “Sure, but I have a very handsome son and you’ll have to promise not to sleep with him.”

“Excuse me,” says the salesman, “but I think I’m in the wrong joke.”

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An Indian Winter

Firewood clipartIt’s late fall and the Indians on the Northern Cheyenne Indian Reservation in Montana asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old ways. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He got on the phone and called the National Weather Service and asked,  ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’

‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
    
‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.  ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’
    
‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood.’

Thanks Glen M

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Man sneezes out bullet after being shot

Sneeze bullet quoteDarco Sangermano, 28, was hit by a stray bullet in front of his shocked girlfriend as they celebrated New Year’s Eve and he was immediately rushed to hospital.

While there and amazingly still conscious, laborer Darco sneezed out the .22 caliber bullet and told doctors that, apart from a strong headache, he felt no other pain.

The bullet entered the right side of his head, went through the muscle, broke the temporal bone, passed behind his eye through the socket, hit a bone in his nose and then lodged in his nostril before being sneezed out.

The incident happened in the southern city of Naples, which has a reputation for lively end-of-year celebrations involving revelers firing live ammunition.

The rest of the story

Thanks Janet

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iReggie: The President’s Body Man

Obama and iReggieThe President of the United States, is, at the end of the day, a person — with everyday things to do, just like anyone else.  But you never see him carrying anything more than, perhaps, a small portfolio, running the tiny errands which make up our everyday lives. 

As you’d expect, the President has a personal servant who worries about those things.  That person is called a “body man.”  President Obama’s?  A man named Reggie Love, pictured right, playing basketball with the President.  Mr. Love’s job is to be the President’s walking, talking answer to life’s little needs.  (As President Obama told the New York Times, when asked if he had an iPad: “I have an iReggie, who has my books, my newspapers, my music all in one place.”)

A thankless job, perhaps, and also mostly an invisible one.  Getting the job?  How to do so is anyone’s guess.  Other than the obvious close, personal relationship with the President, the backgrounds of recent body men is seemingly random.  Mr. Love is a former college basketball and football player who won a national title at Duke (basketball) but failed to find a roster spot on an NFL roster, instead applied for and landed an internship with then-Senator Obama in 2006.  President George W. Bush’s body man from 2002-2006, Blake Gottesman, was a former boyfriend of the President’s daughter Jenna.  Bush met Gottesman when the former was Governor of Texas and began as a deputy aide for White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card in 2000, but rose up the hierarchy before President Bush’s first term was out.

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