Open Mic Super Bowl Sunday

Open_mic_Super Bowl Sunday

Today is the big day for football fans, especially those in Pittsburgh and Green Bay.  Personally, I don’t have a favorite team.  I’m probably a fair weather fan.  If my team is out of it I’m not nearly as interested.  But I like football, just don’t sit and watch it every chance I get.  Today I’m just in it for the socializing and of course the Super Bowl commercials.  I make my bathroom trips during the game so I don’t miss the ads.

Have a great day everyone!

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Butt dust

Butt dustDavid M sends along this little story….

…this particular Sunday sermon….’Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust…’

He would have continued but at that moment, my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year-old-girl voice, ‘Mom, what is butt dust?’

Well…. Here it is  Right arrow2

I didn’t know it existed either.

Thanks David

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Church supper

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
 
When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak, but, mushrooms are expensive.
 
She then told her husband, no mushrooms, they are too high.  He said, ‘Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.’  She said, ‘No, some wild mushrooms are poison.’  He said, ‘Well, I see varmints eating them and they’re OK.’
 
So, Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol’ Spot (the yard dog) a double handful.
 
Ole’ Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ol’ Spot and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.
 
After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played Phase 10 and Mexican train dominoes. About then, the helper lady from town, came in and whispered in Janet’s ear, ‘Mrs. Williams, Ol’ Spot just died.’
 
Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, ‘That’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We’ll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone’s stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.’
 
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMT’s and the doctor had suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.  One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, ‘I think everything will be fine now.’ Then he left.
 
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room, and about this time, the helper lady came in and said, ‘You know, that fellow that ran over Ole’ Spot never even stopped.

Thanks Denny

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