Disclaimer

All the pictures and videos on bitsandpieces.us are the property of their respective owners. All the pictures and videos contained on bitsandpieces.us may have been collected from different public sources, including different websites, considered to be in public domain.

Bitsandpieces.us does not vouch for the accuracy or authenticity of anything posted on it’s pages unless it is specifically stated in the individual post.

Such material is posted here in the cause of understanding and discussion of environmental, political, religious, economic, Constitutional, democratic, scientific, and societal issues affecting our lives and the world. This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is available and distributed without profit for informational, research and educational purposes. For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml.

Bitsandpieces.us does not claim to own exclusive rights on all images and videos published. All posts are and will be credited with a proper linkback to the source where found.  However, bitsandpieces.us is hosting a lot of uncredited material from unknown authors that have been received via emails, friends and visitors. If you own copyrights to some material such as images or data please contact bitsandpieces.us at jonco@bitsandpieces.us to claim your ownership and I will either credit you and/or your website, or if you wish – completely remove the content.

Original commentary on this site is ©copyright by the owner of bitsandpieces.us and may be reprinted and used with acknowledgment of this site.

Furthermore…
Please read all instructions and warnings before use. Must be 18 years of age or older to proceed further. Enter at your own risk. Do not enter. Speed limit – 28.8 or higher. Stop here on red. An inchworm is neither an inch long, nor a worm. Hostess will seat you. Trucks over 4 tons excluded. Void where prohibited by law. Some assembly required. This is a test of the emergency broadcast system – this is ONLY A TEST! List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Use only as directed. For indoor or outdoor use only. Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. We make no other warranties, expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Postal service will not deliver mail without postage. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Subject to CAB approval. May cause drowsiness.  This is not an offer to sell securities. May be too intense for some viewers. See other side for additional listings. This product is meant for educational purposes only. For recreational use only. For office use only. For entertainment purposes only. Only 1 winner per household. Do not disturb. All models are over 18 years of age. Apply only to infected areas. If condition persists, consult your physician. Take two of these and call me in the morning. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An Onion a day keeps everyone away. Taxes not included. Now with new plastic applicator. High altitude directions-increase cook time by 10 minutes. This is not an attorney advertisement or referal service. No user-serviceable parts inside. Website contains small parts and is not intended for use by children under the age of eighteen. This compact disc was originally recorded on analog equipment. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times are approximate. Do not disturb. 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Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Webmaster is also not responsible for items left, lost or stolen. At participating locations only. Sold by weight, not by volume. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. This web site rated ‘R’ for Mature audiences. Do not take with alcohol. Sealed for your protection – do not use if safety seal is broken. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Use seatbelts even with airbags. Do not stop on railroad tracks. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Employees must wash hands before returning to work. Caution, coffee is served HOT. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. 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Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames.  Do not try this at home. No soliciting. Bridge freezes before road surface. Stop, get ticket. Right lane must turn right. Left lane must turn left. Middle lane must make up their damn minds. This site runs on unleaded fuel only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buses and carpools with two or more people only. No hitchhiking. Components may be hot. Silica gel – do not eat. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer. Details on reverse side. Shoplifters will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. We reserve the right to check all bags, coats & personal belongings upon exiting this page. Recycle. Fragile – handle with care. This side up. No jumping or diving. No running by the pool. Register has less than $50 after dark. Driver does not carry cash. No swimming unless lifeguard is present. Swim at your own risk! Please do not wade in fountain. Guaranteed low prices. Not transferable. Actual size not shown. Contents under pressure. Do not intentionally inhale vapors. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Please be kind, rewind. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include tax. Do not remove any HTML tags under penalty of law. Hand wash only – tumble dry on low heat. No Canadian coins. Short circuit may cause fire. No more than 3 transactions per car. Restaurant package, not for resale. Not recommended for small children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. Blackout dates may apply. Viewing by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth and low birth weight. First pull up, then pull down. Insert Tab A into Slot B. Call toll free number before digging. This space (____________) intentionally left blank. All coolers and diaper bags are subject to inspection. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Avoid contact with genitalia. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Doors do not rebound or bounce back. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dogs. Hand Stamp Only.  Don’t quote me on that. Don’t quote me on anything. All rights reserved. Patent pending. For external use only. Avoid extreme temperatures. Avoid contact with eyes and skin. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a magnetic source. Smoking could be hazardous to your health. Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, induce vomiting. Ribbed for her pleasure. Offer valid only at participating locations. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Decision of judges is final. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. You may distribute this article freely, but may not make a profit from it. Actual cash value of this website is 1/1000th of a cent. Listen to your mom. Eat your veggies. Wear your seatbelt. Don’t take candy from strangers… or strange people… or anyone really. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life and move on. This list was current at the time of printing. Terms are subject to change without notice. All decisions are final! This supersedes all previous notices.

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, or other acts of God, neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, unauthorized use, unauthorized repair, improper installation, typos, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, disk failure, accidental file deletions, mud slides, forest fire, hitting of a deer, milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking, or projectiles, which can include, but are not limited to, arrows, bullet shots, BBs, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.

This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.

20 comments to Disclaimer

  • Paul

    Immediately after “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” you might want to add
    “An Onion a day keeps everyone away”.

    Enjoy the site.
    Paul

  • Floyd

    And do not attempt, try at home or drive like an amateur on an open course.

  • DJ

    All coolers and diaper bags are subject to inspection.
    Avoid contact with genitalia.
    Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes.

  • paul in boca

    Ignore the conservative posts??

  • This site is not, nor has it ever been, associated with British Petroleum. They suck the Earth dry, we fill it with life – please learn the difference before proceeding.

  • DJ

    Press 1 for English.
    Do not refreeze once thawed.
    Do not throw cigarette butts in urinal.
    Brains 25¢ (St Louis locations only.)

  • Scott

    Lather rinse repeat.
    No deposit no return.
    Cook to 180 degrees.
    Apply 20 minutes before sun exposure.
    18% gratuity included.
    No COD’s.
    Do not place in microwave.
    Top rack dishwasher safe.
    Pets allowed.
    May contain nutjobs.
    Flush eyes 10-15 minutes with eye bleach.
    Do not induce vomiting.
    May Will become habit forming.
    Puns intended.
    Stoop then poop.

    Believe me I still get mixed up on that last one.

  • Dabba

    Surely you aren’t serious? I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

  • DJ

    Check out time is 11 am.
    Exact change only.
    Give a hoot, don’t pollute.
    Remove before flight.
    Loose lips sink ships.
    Remember, only YOU can prevent forest fires.
    No jake brake within city limits.
    If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.

  • DJ

    Keep hands inside of car at all times.
    Not for internal use.

    Resale of tickets in excess of face value without the express written permission of Bits & Pieces is strictly prohibited and may be in violation of applicable state and local laws.

    Understand that reading B&P involves certain risks, including but not limited to death, serious neck and spinal injuries resulting in complete or partial paralysis, severe cardiovascular stress and violent physical contact, brain damage, and injury to virtually all bones, joints, muscles and internal organs, and that equipment provided for protection may be inadequate to prevent serious injury. Further understand that B&P involves a particularly high risk of ankle and knee injury.

  • Scott

    IWHI.

    Actually may I suggest that one go to the FAQ page:

    Q: WIHI?
    A: IWHI.

  • Scott

    If you live in Australasia press Ctrl + Alt + ↓

  • Scott

    If you are planking press Ctrl + Alt + →

  • harry w

    I cant remember when I have laughed so hard. Jonco has really started
    something here. Some considerations:

    Top Secret – Eyes Only.

    Will not shrink.

    Do not use bleach.

    Do not eat.

    Sugar Free.

    Post no bills.

    For a good time call Jenny, 867-5309.

    Loud pipes save lives.

    Look both ways before proceeding.

    Clerk cannot open safe.

    If you enjoy your freedom, thank a Vet.

    No turn on red.

    No left turn.

    No right turn.

    No U-turn.

    No calories.

    Low sodium.

    No artificial flavoring.

    Size does not matter.

    Flammable: Keep away from spark, heat or flame.

    Non-flammable.

    35% alcohol by volume.

    Shake well before using.

    Refrigerate after opening.

  • Steve

    This message does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or alter ego; all rights reserved; you may distribute this message freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; this message has not been safety tested for children under the age of 3; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; intended solely for the private use of our audience; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this message is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; prices may vary in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico; message is provided “as is” without any warranties;

    reader assumes full responsibility; past performance does not predict future results and people can and do lose money; an equal opportunity message; no shoes, no shirt, no message; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental advisory – explicit lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse;

    for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this message could be hazardous to your health; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician; may cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect; use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; objects in mirror are closer than they appear; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply; contest ends 12-31-98; contents measured by weight only, contents may settle in transit; May cause random outbursts of extreme violence, epileptic seizures, or whatever; actual message may differ from illustration on box.

  • Scott

    New and improved! Same low price! Now with two scoops of bits and pieces! Two great tastes that taste great together! Double your pleasure double your fun! Two, two, two mints in one! Two for me none for you! They’rrrrrre grrrrreat! They’re magically delicious! They’re kid tested mother approved! He likes it! Hey Mikey! Mmmm mmmm good! The greatest show on Earth! Cats ask for it by name! Billions and billions served! It’s the quicker picker upper! It’s the pause that refreshes! It’s the real thing! You deserve a break today! Have it your way! We love to see you smile! Sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don’t! We’ll leave the light on for you! You’ve come a long way baby! When your here you’re family! Let your fingers do the walking! Reach out and touch someone! You’re in good hands! Just do it! Get the sensation! The best a man can get! It’s finger lickin’ good! It takes a licking and keeps on ticking! It keeps going and going and going! When it absolutely positively has to be there overnight! It’s everywhere you want to be! Don’t leave home without it! We bring good things to life! We scour the web so you don’t have tooooooo!

  • “No soup for you.”

    ohman i laughed hard at that one!

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