When the End of the World Arrives, How Will the Media Report It?
USA Today: WE’RE DEAD
The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER
Wired: THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest: ‘BYE
Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!
Lady’s Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW “Armageddon” DIET!
America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft’s Web Site: IF YOU DIDN’T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.
A construction worker from western Missouri is recovering today after he was flushed through more than a mile of sewer pipe yesterday morning.
Daniel Collins was working on the sewage system in the town of Raymore, outside Kansas City, when his safety line became unhooked and he was swept away by waste water flowing through the sewer.
As the Associated Press reports, Collins was pushed through more than a mile of 27-inch-wide sewer pipe for nearly 90 minutes. Workers checking manholes along the sewer line finally heard his calls for help around 10 a.m.
Collins was in and out of consciousness when rescued. He’s now being treated for hypothermia and given antibiotics to ward off infection from swallowing who-knows-how-much sewage water. Somebody get this man some Listerine, a medal and a less shitty occupation. Pronto.
Here’s a news report on the mystery missile…
Here’s one explanation….
Thanks Mike (From Spain)