What’s UP with that?

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special..

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP..

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP,

for now my time is UP,

so…….it is time to shut UP!

Thanks, Scott F

 

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When Insults Had Class…

These glorious insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

♦ A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir, ” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

♦ “He had delusions of adequacy .” -Walter Kerr

♦ “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

♦ “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow

♦ “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

♦ “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” -Moses Hadas

♦ “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” -Mark Twain

♦ “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” -Oscar Wilde

♦ “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

♦ “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” -Winston Churchill, in response

♦ “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” -Stephen Bishop

♦ “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” -John Bright

♦ “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” -Irvin S. Cobb

♦ “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -Samuel Johnson

♦ “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

♦ “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” -Charles, Count Talleyrand

♦ “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” Forrest Tucker

♦ “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain

♦ “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” -Mae West

♦ “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” -Oscar Wilde

♦ “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

♦ “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” -Billy Wilder

♦ “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” -Groucho Marx

Thanks, Brother Paul
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