A real man…

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure
she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait… sorry… I’m thinking of beer.

Never mind!

Thanks Bella

The meaning of crop circles

If crop circles are supposed to be a messages (like billboards) to UFOs, what do they mean? Top possible translations:

Crop_circles15. “Got Milk?”

14. “Last Planet Before the Skyway”

13. “Clean Restrooms, 12 Miles”

12. “When in Southern California, Visit Universal City”

11. “Neptune Starbucks, Open ‘Til Midnight”

10. “Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity”, Only at Intergalactic House of Pancakes”

9. “McDonald’s Next Exit, Mothership Drivers Eat Free”

8. “Marvin the Martian Was Here”

7. “Sigourney Lives!”

6. “Honk, if You Love Shatner”

5. “For a good time, call Jolly Green Giant … 555-NIBLETS”

4. “‘Star Trek Nemesis,’ 12 / 13 / 02”

3. “Gort! Klaatu barada Hooters!”

2. “Welcome to Earth: An AOL Time-Warner Company”

And the number one translation of alien crop circle signs:

1. “You Must Be This Tall to Invade”


via

What makes 100%

 What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. 

Thanks Mary M