A new supermarket

A new supermarket opened in St Louis…

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and brats.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.

Thanks Bella

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Signs you’re getting old

1.  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 

3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6.  There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8.  You can eat supper at 4 pm. 

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10.  You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12.  You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 

13.  You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15  . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

16.  Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17.  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 

Gods waiting room

Alphabet soup

Bmw bumper sticker

Retired

Thanks Gene

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