Horny kangaroo stalks woman

A BRAWNY kangaroo that has been seeking love of late has focussed his lust on the women of a Territory town.

KangarooThe well-endowed macropod has been hanging around the Honeymoon Ranges in Tennant Creek recently, making every effort to woo a woman.

One resident who walks along the bike track to the Mary Ann Dam regularly said she realized she was being followed early one morning.

“I turned around and saw this big kangaroo behind me, so I hastened my steps,” she said.

“It seemed a bit odd, but I continued walking and didn’t think much about it.


“Then on the return walk he was there waiting for me,” she said.


“With his male pride on full alert, he started circling me.

“There was no doubt about what he wanted, the randy old thing.


“It was a huge kangaroo and quite intimidating.

“I yelled at him to go away, waved my hands about and let him know I wasn’t interested, but he was persistent – I’ll give him that.”

The woman said the roo bounded off when other walkers approached.

The jolly jumper made another appearance at a recent night-time speedway meeting.

Mother-of-three, Tanya Wilson, who was behind the pits, noticed he had come to check out the action.

“I thought it was strange that a kangaroo would come to such a noisy place, but I grew up around kangaroos so I went up to say hello,” she said. “There I was having a nice chat to him when I heard others calling out to me, warning me to step away.


“I didn’t take any notice of them because I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. I thought he was just a cute, friendly kangaroo.”


Tanya was oblivious to the amorous nature of the interlude, but the kangaroo’s intentions were clearly evident to other speedway fans.


“Yeah, apparently he was quite aroused,” she said.


“I’m actually glad I didn’t notice.”


There were reports a male speedway fan confronted the kangaroo but came off second best when the beast punched him in the face.


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Perspective

Skipping man2A man had lost one of his arms in an accident. One day he  felt terribly depressed and decided to  commit suicide.

He got into an elevator and went to the top  of a building to jump off.   He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels.  He looked closer  and saw this man didn’t have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself. I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.   He hurried down to the street and caught up to the man with no arms.

He told him how  glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him  again  for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and kicking up his heels again.

The one armed man asked, ‘why are you so happy anyway?’

He said, ‘I’m NOT happy …. my ass itches!’

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