I am coming home to get married soon, so get your checkbook out. I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me. As you know, I am presently living in Australia … and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype, and now we’ve had two months of a relationship through Viber. My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding.
Lots of love and thanks. Your favorite daughter, Lilly
My Dearest Lilly,
Like Wow! Really? Cool!
I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have a honeymoon on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay.
Love, Your Dad