~Your kids are becoming you, and you don’t like them. But your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now, you get discounts on everything: movies, hotels, flights, but you don’t feel like going to the trouble.

~You forget names, but [...]

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While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.

By then, [...]

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An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing… He asked the trainer that was nearby “What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?”

 The trainer looked him up and down and said “I would [...]