Wine for seniors

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted night’s sleep.

NEW Wine for Seniors, I kid you not…..

Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

​PINO MORE

I HEARD IT​ ​THROUGH THE​ GRAPEVINE!!

Thanks, Dianne
 
13+

When seniors call computer tech support…

A scene of confusion, desperation, humor, exasperation, frustration, and anger…

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one…

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘can’t find printer. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No I can’t get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

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Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I’m writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

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Tech support: Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list In the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer: I don’t have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: ‘P’…..on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

Thanks, Gene
 
11+

Old Goat Quiz

Great mental exercise for people over 50.  Which of the following names are you familiar with?

1. Monica Lewinsky
2. Hillary Clinton
3. Benito Mussolini
4. Adolf Hitler
5. Jorge Bergoglio
6. Al Capone
7. Vladimir Putin
8. Linda Lovelace
9. Saddam Hussein
10. Tiger Woods

You had trouble with #5, didn’t you?

So, you know all the liars, criminals, adulterers, murderers, thieves, sluts and cheaters, but you don’t know the Pope??

Lovely, just lovely…

sometimes I worry about you.

Thanks, Diane
15+