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Thanks Mike (From Spain)

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His wife sympathizes. As they [...]]]> Arthur is 90 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.
“That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. Once I’ve hit the ball, I can’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggestion: “Why don’t you take my brother with you, and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur. “Your brother is a hundred and three. He can’t help.”

“He may be a hundred and three,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down
the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. “Did you see the ball?”

“Of course I did!” says the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.”

“Where did it go?” asks Arthur.

“Can’t remember.”

Thanks Gene

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”

The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation [...]]]> Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”

The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books.  This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings.  Then we were able to personalize our books.  But too bad we didn’t do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to
go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

Thanks Janet B

Thanks sg

~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now, you get discounts on everything: movies, hotels, flights, but you don’t feel like going to the trouble.

~You forget names, but [...]]]> ~Your kids are becoming you, and you don’t like them. But your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now, you get discounts on everything: movies, hotels, flights, but you don’t feel like going to the trouble.

~You forget names, but it’s OK because other people forgot they even know you!!!

~The five pounds you wanted to lose is now fifteen and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the fifteen pounds.

~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything, especially golf.

~Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don’t remember.

~The things you cared to do, you don’t care to do, but you care that you don’t care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It’s called his “pre-sleep”.

~Remember when your mother said, “Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident”? Now you bring clean underwear in case you have an accident!

~You used to say, “I hope my kids get married.” Now you say, “I hope they stay married!”

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch.

~You remember when Google, iPod, email, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

~You now use more four-letter words ..”what?”…”when?”

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys but he’s home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you’ve already read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless”?

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired, you’d give anything if he’d find a job!

~You have three sizes of clothes in your closet …two of which you will never wear.

~But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies and best of all, OLD FRIENDS -if you can remember who they are!

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Thanks Gene