Jamie was one of those women who never seemed to have lost that Sweet Little Girl quality about her. I actually used in her a short story, a work of fiction, where there was a member of a group of people who continuously discounted her very existence as a human being. She was more like a really large kitten, or a child, or something pretty and fragile to look at, but never taken seriously.
I knew her boyfriend pretty well, and long before video games took over the world, there were board games that were serious. It took hours to play one called Axis and Allies, and I was pretty good at the game, and so was Tommy, who was Jamie’s boyfriend. It was more than a little disconcerting to see the two together because even though she was twenty she looked younger. A lot younger. At barely five feet tall and less than one hundred pounds, the woman really looked very innocent and very sweet.
One day, she moved out and Tommy told us she had delivered an ultimatum; stop playing games all weekend or she was gone. Universally, every time he told someone she said that they laughed. He laughed. I mean, how do you take someone that looks like a character from a Disney movie seriously?
Tommy was one of those guys that had an extensive CD collection. We were sitting around talking about Jamie leaving and he popped a CD in. It was the wrong CD. He tried another. And then another. All of his CDs were in the wrong cases. He had a very large video library. The cases were marked but the cassettes weren’t. Each and every movie he owned was in the wrong case. Since he had recorded most of them bootleg, there was no telling which was which.
This was annoying but amusing to the rest of us, and then we sat down to play. All of the games pieces had been super glued to another game piece. There was at least a hundred or so, and she had glued the bases together so if you cut one or the other, you’d have to glue the base back. That was bad enough. That was catastrophic. But the real damage was to the dice. The game required a lot of dice rolling and Tommy most have owned a dozen or so. Jamie had taken a drill and very meticulously drilled holes in each die, and then super glued a piece of lead shot into the hole. Basically, this caused each die to roll a certain number every time. It must have taken the woman an entire day to get all of this done. She also called Georgia Power had had his electricity cut off on a Friday afternoon. He didn’t get it back on until Monday.
I saw Jamie downtown one day and stopped to talk to her. “Why’d you do it?” I asked, and she just smiled at me. She looked so very sweet and so nice. She had this thing where she’d toss her hair back, and cock her head to one side, like a puppy, and she looked so adorable.
No woman has ever looked at me and scared me more than Jamie did at that moment.
What’s the strangest thing an ex did to you after he/she left?