I have a tendency towards isolation. I like the woods. I like dogs. I like the idea that nearly every delivery service on earth cannot find my house. Well, I don’t like that very much, actually, but I like being hard to find. I like classical music and I like venomous snakes. I’m not a big fan of people. Oddly enough, I evolved towards dating on the internet rather than in bars or churches, or random meetings in places that are odd.
Hear me out. First off, in a bar or a church you’re going to meet someone, maybe buy drinks, maybe sing a psalm together or something like that. Honestly, I have no idea at all of what people do in churches, but sooner or later you’re going to go out on a date, and if you do the dinner and a movie thing you’re going to drop close to one hundred bucks. So you like her, she likes you, her cats didn’t hiss at you, your dog licked her in the mouth and she didn’t freak out, so off you go, seeing one another every weekend, and suddenly, six months later, you’re still dropping about two hundred a month on food and movies, and going out and doing stuff. All in all, you’re out over twelve hundred bucks or so, if you’re lucky, and then she drops you because your dog clearly has issues and suddenly you’re sitting in front of the television wondering if you ought to get drunk or get saved, and start all over again.
But suppose you’re meeting a woman online, and you like her, she likes you, and you spend an hour every night trading emails or texts, or photos that both of you hope and pray won’t come back to haunt you and suddenly, you’re thinking airline tickets. Three or four hundred bucks and you’re there or she’s here, and you go out, then go back to the apartment or house, and because you know damn well it’s going to be a while, you have wild passionate sex and after a long weekend she’s gone or you’re gone, and you know it’s going to be six months before you do it again.
See the price difference? Internet dating, even if she lives across the country, is actually cheaper than dating someone from your hometown.
I’ll admit, that seeing someone you like or even love twice a year is going to be a drag. But you have all that free time, and you’ll never have to worry about lid down lid up debates at three in the morning with someone who sat in cold water. Also, you don’t have to worry about house cleaning except twice a year or so.
Meanwhile, you don’t have to go to churches or bars, and you will save even more money not tipping or tithing.
The downside to all of this is not having instant access to someone who can hold your hand, listen to you bitch, or simply hold you when the world sucks. When someone tells you they’re in love with you in an instant message, no matter how many hearts they stick in the message, it really isn’t the same as someone telling you that when you’re both breathless from having sex on the floor because you really couldn’t wait to get on the bed on a Wednesday night when you were just supposed to be having tacos.
As a solitary animal, I evolved away from internet dating, simply because it appeals to a solitary animal, and that’s not really any way at all to look for love in 2018, or any other year.