Friday Firesmith – Dating in 2018

I have a tendency towards isolation. I like the woods. I like dogs. I like the idea that nearly every delivery service on earth cannot find my house. Well, I don’t like that very much, actually, but I like being hard to find. I like classical music and I like venomous snakes. I’m not a big fan of people. Oddly enough, I evolved towards dating on the internet rather than in bars or churches, or random meetings in places that are odd.

Hear me out. First off, in a bar or a church you’re going to meet someone, maybe buy drinks, maybe sing a psalm together or something like that. Honestly, I have no idea at all of what people do in churches, but sooner or later you’re going to go out on a date, and if you do the dinner and a movie thing you’re going to drop close to one hundred bucks. So you like her, she likes you, her cats didn’t hiss at you, your dog licked her in the mouth and she didn’t freak out, so off you go, seeing one another every weekend, and suddenly, six months later, you’re still dropping about two hundred a month on food and movies, and going out and doing stuff. All in all, you’re out over twelve hundred bucks or so, if you’re lucky, and then she drops you because your dog clearly has issues and suddenly you’re sitting in front of the television wondering if you ought to get drunk or get saved, and start all over again.

But suppose you’re meeting a woman online, and you like her, she likes you, and you spend an hour every night trading emails or texts, or photos that both of you hope and pray won’t come back to haunt you and suddenly, you’re thinking airline tickets. Three or four hundred bucks and you’re there or she’s here, and you go out, then go back to the apartment or house, and because you know damn well it’s going to be a while, you have wild passionate sex and after a long weekend she’s gone or you’re gone, and you know it’s going to be six months before you do it again.

See the price difference? Internet dating, even if she lives across the country, is actually cheaper than dating someone from your hometown.

I’ll admit, that seeing someone you like or even love twice a year is going to be a drag. But you have all that free time, and you’ll never have to worry about lid down lid up debates at three in the morning with someone who sat in cold water. Also, you don’t have to worry about house cleaning except twice a year or so.

Meanwhile, you don’t have to go to churches or bars, and you will save even more money not tipping or tithing.

The downside to all of this is not having instant access to someone who can hold your hand, listen to you bitch, or simply hold you when the world sucks. When someone tells you they’re in love with you in an instant message, no matter how many hearts they stick in the message, it really isn’t the same as someone telling you that when you’re both breathless from having sex on the floor because you really couldn’t wait to get on the bed on a Wednesday night when you were just supposed to be having tacos.

As a solitary animal, I evolved away from internet dating, simply because it appeals to a solitary animal, and that’s not really any way at all to look for love in 2018, or any other year.

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit.
 
Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.
 
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26 thoughts on “Friday Firesmith – Dating in 2018

  1. “As a solitary animal, I evolved away from internet dating, simply because it appeals to a solitary animal…” Maybe that’s your problem. As you state: “you’re both breathless from having sex on the floor because you really couldn’t wait to get on the bed”. That’s what animals do. Stop thinking like an animal and start thinking like a human being. My two cents worth. Probably worth less than that. But, there it is.

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      • Mike, respectfully agree to disagree. To wit: humans have waaaaaaay more than guns and money. Also: humans have a moral compass that speaks in a still small voice saying that sex simply for the sake of sex is not ultimately fulfilling beyond the ‘release’ factor. Animals on the other hand have a built in compulsion to have sex in order to reproduce. There is no way they instinctively have sex just because it feels good. I guess in that sense animals are more highly evolved than humans?

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        • Dave, “Also: humans have a moral compass that speaks in a still small voice saying that sex simply for the sake of sex is not ultimately fulfilling beyond the ‘release’ factor.” I’m not sure that is either a commonly held belief, nor do I think applicable. But even if your premise were true, which I’m fairly certain it is not, sex because it feels good would be more than enough reason to engage in it. It’s no different than any other natural function of the body that feels good to do. Religion tells us one thing, nature tells us something totally different. I’ll go with nature.

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          • There are many creatures other than human who engage in sex for pleasure. Only man is cruel for fun. Animals who toy with their food are most likely teaching their young to hunt. Man is by far the most deranged being.
            Disclaimer* no I’m not an animal specialist of any kind, I just enjoy reading.

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          • Mike: Somehow my first response got cancelled due it being “spammy”? Suffice it to say: I agree with your statement that, since sex feels good it is more than enough reason to engage in it. Where I have a problem is your equating humans and animals when it comes to the ‘reason’ for having sex. It is my contention that animals engage simply for procreation purposes. Whereas, humans engage for much more (or less?) than that. Thoughts?

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            • Dave, I’m not sure you can make the supposition that no other animals than humans have sex because it feels good. Out closest primate relatives, bonobos, frequently have sex for the pleasure of it, and I’m pretty sure chimps do as well. Try to separate humans from nature is, at best problematic, and at worse, futile. However, all of this being said, I do very much appreciate your civility in the matter. It appears very much that you and I will never agree on the subject but I find your manner very much agreeable.

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              • Mike, same here. I check your web site daily (sometimes more than once) to laugh and share some of your postings. Thanks for the kind words. May your 2018 exceed your greatest hopes.

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  2. This never works well with real women:

    “Jennifer; make me a sandwich”
    “Make your own damn sandwich you lazy b#^#!@!!”

    I get much better results from my friendly online companion…

    “alexa, make me a sandwich…”
    “ok… you’re a sandwich”.

    See the difference?

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  3. There are certain things I stopped believing in at a certain point in my life. Love was one of those things. I don’t know if it was some sort of an epiphany, or if I’ve just become a jaded old hermit.
    Much of it has to do with the way I was treated in the past. Yes, I know not all men are the same. I know they don’t all cheat and lie. I’m sure there are good men out there. I am at the point in my life where it would take far too much effort and way too much give-a-damn to find it. At the end of the day I have neither left.
    I admire people who can make it work. I have a friend who met her husband online. Not on a dating site, but playing euchre. They’ve been together 12 years now, and are still happy. Amazing. As for me, I’ll keep to myself. I find I’m happier that way.

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  4. Having “someone who can hold your hand, listen to you bitch, or simply hold you when the world sucks” would be one of the greatest joys in life. Sadly I think many, many people think they’ve found that person when they marry, only to discover the other person was looking for something entirely different.
    It is interesting, but I have honestly found that the younger generation seems to be far better at this than when I was young. Now I hear youth telling one another to be sure to find someone who shares the same interests, someone who truly listens when you talk, someone who supports your goals and believes what you believe – someone you can respect and who respects you. Man, I wish I had adhered to that advice when I was at that point in my life.
    While sex can be good, without the rest, life can be quite unfulfilling.

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