The future is here

Hello! Gordon’s Pizza?

No sir, it’s Google Pizza.

So, I’ve got the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza.

OK – take my order, please.

Sir, you want the usual?

The usual? How do you know me?

According to your caller ID, the last 12 times you ordered pizza with cheese, sausage, thick crust…OK!

OK! That’s it! GO!!

Sir, may I suggest to you this time ricotta cheese, arugula with sun-dried tomatoes?

NO! I hate vegetables!

But your cholesterol is high!

How do you know?

Through the Lab subscriber’s guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Okay, but I want my regular pizza – I already take medicine.

But sir, you’ve not taken your medicine regularly. Four months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network.

I bought more from another drugstore.

It’s not showing on your credit card.

I paid in cash.

But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.

I have other sources of cash.

This is not showing on your last Income-Tax return unless you got it from an undeclared source.

WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whats App. I’m going to an Island without Wi-Fi or internet – where there’s no cell phones or satellites to spy on me.

I understand sir – but you need to renew your passport, as it expired 5 weeks ago…

Thanks, Rich