It figures that if I am in a hurry there will be something or someone that will slow me down. I run into a man I once worked with, and he’s gone downhill in a hurry. He’s got a blood clot in his leg they’re treating, and until they can shrink it or operate on it, he can’t get out and do very much anymore. The clot is a time bomb and this man knows it. He’s shopping for a broom and taking a lot more time looking at brooms than most people would. I listen patiently and ask about his garden because I know he’s got one and I know he likes talking about it. He’s good with the earth and that’s a dying craft.
I’ve got fifty pounds of dog food so self-check out isn’t an option, “Please place your items in the bagging area”. “Unexpected item in bagging area”. “Firearms are not allowed in bagging area”. “Unexpected bullet hole in talking machine, please wait for assistance.”
At the cashier’s post, there’s a problem. There’s a guy who looks like he’s about sixty trying to flirt with the cashier and she’s one-third his age, easy. He’s telling her how cute she is and asking for her number and asking her how she likes older men and she’s locked down and stopped talking to him except to tell him how much he owes. I’ve pissed off enough women in my life, never like this of course, but I know that look. If he was smart and clearly he isn’t, that look on her face ought to have him seeking out another time zone to be in or maybe even another time period, like the Jurassic.
“Your total is fifty dollars and fifty-seven cents” she repeats for the third time.
He makes a show of finally getting out his wallet and fanning some twenties out. He lays them down on the counter one at a time, and all the while he’s making this weird little snickering noise with his mouth. “That’s fifty,” he tells her and she has to reach towards him to pick the bills up. I can tell this is making her uncomfortable and he looks like he’s having the best time ever.
He dumps some change on the counter, counts it out loud, slowly, snickering all the while, rocking back and forth, and finally tells her “That’s fifty-seven cents!” like it’s a prize. Again, she has to reach towards him to pick up the change.
“I was a nickel short”, he says and hands her a quarter. She takes it and gives him two dimes but he says, “I was kidding” and she counts the change, and give him back the quarter. Her look at this point is murderous. He picks up his bags and leaves, telling her he’ll come back to see her later.
So tell me guys, have you ever had a woman do this to you, or is it just men who do this to women?