Friday Firesmith – Red Faced About Red Panties

Friday firesmithA couple weeks ago I said disparaging things about the Great State of Texas and I really shouldn’t have lumped all Texans in with the shoot everything crowd and those people who think science is a tool of Satan. Now, he who is without sin, or he whose state is without sin, should cast the first stone so I thought back and considered maybe, just maybe, I might possibly be able to find a story that would embarrass the hell out of me for being from Georgia.

Yeah, this one:

Damon evansThis is the story of, Damon Evans, the University of Georgia’s Athletic Director, or the man who was just about to fill that position.

First off, the woman he was with wasn’t his wife. But she was his body guard. Drunk and disorderly, is what the cops called her but here…

Trooper Cabe noted in the report that he noticed a pair of red panties between Evans’ legs. When he asked Evans “what her [indicating passenger Courtney Fuhrmann] panties were doing in his side of the seat,” Evans stated that “She took them off and I held them because I was just trying to get her home.”  Evans had indicated earlier that it was Ms. Fuhrmann who was intoxicated.

As for Fuhrmann, Trooper Cabe asked her how long she had been seeing Evans and she replied, “Only a week or so.” She also made the statements that, “I promise you one thing, he will get off,” and “Just to let you know, it will be erased, because he is the Athletic Director of UGA and he has that power.”

Evans himself stated, “I apologize and don’t want to use my influence but she is trying to protect me.”

Evans has since stated that Fuhrmann is “just a friend” at his press conference on Thursday.

The closest I ever came to getting a DUI is when my girlfriend decided to get involved in the conversation between me and the cop. Girls, if you are not driving you should not be speaking. Never tell a cop what to do when he has a pair of handcuffs out unless you’re flirting.

Here’s the part that blows my mind, really…

Evans, who played wide receiver at Georgia from 1988-92, received a five-year contract extension in February that raised his annual salary to $550,000. His new salary was set to take effect on Thursday.

The man was about to start making over half a million year. That’s nearly $46,000 a month. I’m willing to bet that is higher than what most High School teachers in Georgia make in a year.
The “Red Panties Incident” as it was referred to back then, was made worse by the fact that Evans was famous for his “Don’t Drink And Drive” Public Service videos during games. So there we have it; a man brought low by drink and women and a state that pays their AD more than half a million dollars a year.

Your turn. What has your state done to make you want to hide your license plates?

Take Care,

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.



37 thoughts on “Friday Firesmith – Red Faced About Red Panties

  1. Trust me. Any derogatory remark about Texans is true. Take it from an outsider who has been living here for the last 7 years.


    • Not all of us William, I don’t believe in Creationism, as a matter of fact, I’m an Atheist and I’m pretty pissed off that they want to leave scientific facts out of science books in our schools. I do see the dickheads around me of whom you speak, but I also see some highly educated, highly intelligent people.
      Unless you are are in the military and cannot decide where you live, the border is only a few hours away from any given spot. If you are in the military, you aren’t living around Texans, you are living around a mix of people from every where.Duh.


  2. The money thrown around in college sports is ridiculous.
    I’m glad nothing embarrassing happens at Penn State.


  3. No fair, Mike. Georgia has both Cynthia McKinney and David Scott, although Cali has Pelosi and the famous Maxine Waters that we can talk about.


      • Mike, you forgot that I’m from Georgia. If I was from Texas, I’d reference Sheila Jackson Lee. She is scary dumb.


  4. What has the state I now live in done?
    Can you say Calle-fourn-ya?
    Leland Yee,
    San Fran-sicko,
    Need I say more?


  5. California? Anytime I visit another state I want to hide my license plate. Nobody likes Californians. The state economy is a mirror image of the federal economy: “Spend more, tax more, promise more, get paid more” seems to be the politicians motto.


  6. Frankly, I think every place has their own set of problems. I know we here in Texas do. I love how everyone lumps everyone together though. Not all of us are ignorant creationists. I seriously doubt you folks making cracks about Texans have met all the Texans. I don’t believe everyone from Toronto is a lard ass crack head just because their mayor is.I don’t believe all the propaganda about any group of people, I learned that being an Army brat. It almost sounds akin to racism.
    We could make generalizations about every place and everyone, or we could be grown ups and more broad-minded than that and not judge some one by where they grew up.


    • If we didn’t make generalizations about every place and everyone, what would we find to laugh about? Where would we derive humor from? Would we be forced to listen to jokes such as
      “What do you call something that is big, red, and eats rocks?”
      ” A Big Red Rock Eater.”

      “What did the fisherman say to the card magician?”
      “Pick a cod, any cod!”

      “What is the Karate experts favorite beverage?”

      “How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?
      When its past your eyes!”

      “Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
      The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.”

      OK I will stop now.


      • There are plenty of morally bankrupt, individuals out there, of all creeds and from every where. Plenty of stories. I’d love to see a story on the newest saint, the patron saint of pedophiles, and how on Earth that came to be. WTF were they thinking?


  7. I live in Illinois–the state that is morally and fiscally bankrupt.

    Oh, and something like 4 out of the last 8 governors are in prison or are ex-cons.


  8. New York has Buffalo sports teams. So how many consecutive Super Bowls has your favorite lost?


  9. Can’t think of anyone from my state of Sarawak particularly, but if I had to pick someone from the entire country of Malaysia it would be the coconut banging idiot, Raja Bomoh (King of Shamans, more or less.)


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