14 thoughts on “Which pill do you choose?

  1. Pink pill, no doubt. On flight, alone, you could transform into a bird, which grants you 1 full hour of flight more than the green pill per day.


  2. They left out the one I really wanted… the one that makes you invisible so you can do just about anything you want!


    • Good idea – that should replace the Get High pill. Lets assume you can do it once a day for 3 hours (a long time since it won’t make your clothes invisible – you’d have to undress somewhere, go invisible, do whatever, then get back to your clothes before your time runs out.

      Only problem is, it’s not quite as “free” as you’d think. A spell that makes you invisible wouldn’t make anything else invisible, and it wouldn’t stop you from leaving dead skin cells and hairs (which are no longer part of you) or fingerprint markings on stuff, so you could still be identified for crimes. You couldn’t steal anything, too, because then it’d just be a bag of money floating through the air or something. All you could really do is easily listen in on almost any conversation, and see things you’re not supposed to (whether perverted or not).

      …And that’s not even getting into the fact that being invisible would likely make you blind, since light can no longer hit your retina – light goes through you now.


  3. You know what they say: With great power, comes great responsibility… besides, sometimes, what seems like a “great” power, is actually pretty lame. Let’s have a look. (Short summary is below each color):

    Yellow (Read minds): Well, possible applications would be to know for certain whether or not somebody is liking you (for a date, a job interview, or a potential mugger), but take a moment and think about what YOUR thoughts are like. If you’re anything like me, or any of the other people I’ve talked about this with, you’ll be thinking about one thing, concentrating very hard, then suddenly, boobs, or flashlights, or food, or murdering everyone for no reason, will randomly pop into your head. If you’re reading other people’s minds, and half the time you do, you get “I wonder what would happen if I went on a Kill-bill style rampage, right now?” you’d quickly decide that everyone is completely insane, then go insane yourself. Doesn’t sound very good to me.

    Conclusion: Most likely would drive you insane.

    Green (flight): Oh, you can fly? Now, can you fly to any height and any speed or are you stuck hovering slightly at walking speed? Do you stay warm and oxygenated in the stratosphere and cool when the atmosphere heats up around you from going too fast, or can you still die any of the multiple ways there are to die? Does your appearance change into something inconspicuous, or do you just look like a flying human body, making absolutely everyone who sees you go crazy?

    Conclusion: Ideally, it would be exactly as awesome as you imagine it…. but it could be so… so bad.

    Blue (Sports master): It doesn’t say anything about your body – you could be in Jonco’s physical condition (no offense) and still be a “master,” but all you’d get to do then is teach/coach, if you’re lucky. If it instantly made you 25 years old and in perfect condition, that’s another story, but it doesn’t say it does. Besides, any and every human that existed is capable of mastering any sport they choose… it just takes time, effort, and dedication – but that way, you’ll live a LOT longer than 10 years.

    Conclusion: If you want this, get off your ass and do it. Don’t turn down the other amazing pills for the sake of your own laziness.

    Orange (Get High): It says you can “get high without weed,” so I’m assuming that, for 45 minutes, a max of 3 hours, it exactly replicates the effects of marijuana. So… after a few months of getting high at no cost for 3 hours a day, your body builds up a resistance, the effects are almost unnoticeable, but at the same time, you’re completely addicted to it and can’t stop. Yeah, that sounds like fun.

    Conclusion: If you think this is the best option, just turn around, walk away, and let someone else have the choice. You’re too stupid to deserve this opportunity.

    Red (Mind internet): We’re probably going to see this happen just using plain science within the next decade. Don’t even think about picking this one.

    Conclusion: It’s short, just read it ^

    Grey (Touch of Love): Typically, if a person would be a good match for you, it’s pretty obvious and you two will easily fall in love – sometimes whether you want to or not. If you have a struggle to “win” someone, they’re probably not a good match for you. What this pill ACTUALLY is, then, is “make anyone you want instantly want to have sex with you.” Unless you KNOW that this person will be a good match for you, it’s likely you’ll want to turn it on, have a few fun nights, then turn it off. Being that you can only do this 10 times in your entire life, I don’t think it’s very good – but it does at least have some use.

    Conclusion: 10 times in your life, you’ll have a few awesome nights with that complete bitch who’s ridiculously hot and awesome in bed, but you actually hate her completely (Maybe you’ll even get lucky and manage to touch a celebrity or a playboy bunny). Your REAL love, however, will likely be natural.

    Black (See the Future): On the surface, this sounds wonderful, but there are two questions that would decide whether this is genuinely good, or completely useless: “Are you immune from paradoxes?” and “If not, are there multiple future timelines?” If you are not, lets say you start dating a girl and look into the future to see if she turns into a bitch, or if she’s actually good. If you “see” that you’re still together but she turns into a bitch and there are NOT multiple timelines, you see she’s a bitch, so you try to separate, but because you’ve already seen your future with you two together, it is COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE to get away from her, because doing so would cause a paradox. Life will just repeatedly force you two back together, and you’ll still be together 5 years in the future. Watch http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0268695/ if you still don’t understand. It’s a wonderful movie and the climax of the movie explains this exact point i’m making.

    (Continued) The only way you’d be able to get away from her is if you looked into the future and saw you two had separated, in which case, you’d end up separating at exactly the same time and place that you would have even without seeing the future. In short – if you are not immune from paradoxes and there are not multiple timelines, the power would be completely useless – and I mean completely. Oh, and btw, the whole “using publicly” thing actually applies to nearly everything here, so….

    Conclusion: If you ARE immune from paradoxes or there are multiple future timelimes, this power is incredibly useful, and, depending on your execution, it could be the best.

    Pink (Shapeshifter): This power, is genuinely incredible. You are limited only by your imagination, and the uses are endless. Need to hide from someone? You’re a gnat, nearly invisible, flying, and extremely difficult to kill. Have a date but busted your eye? Shift into an exact replica of yourself, but in perfect condition (and maybe a bit sexier than usual… don’t go overboard or it’ll be suspicious next time you meet). Late for a meeting? You’re a peregrine falcon, with diving speeds of 200 mph! Stumbled somewhere you’re not supposed to be, and now the cops are looking for you? You’re a stray cardboard box on the ground – who’d look twice at that?

    (Continued) Admittedly, this does have its issues. For example, if you turn into a gnat, do you keep your consciousness, memories, and intelligence, or do you become a gnat in every possible sense? What happens if you die as a gnat? Do you actually die, or do you just shapeshift back into human, good as new (scaring the shit out of everyone nearby)? If you turn into a cardboard box, does your alive-ness vanish, and you “wake up” two hours later, when you automatically un-transform? Or are you still conscious and somehow aware of your surroundings, through some sort of 6th sense, since you have no eyes, ears, or nervous system? What happens if you change from gnat to human inside a very small space?

    (Continued again) These are all excellent questions, but the good thing is, you can test nearly all of them in complete safety in your house or something. Get a large cardboard box, place it over your body so you can’t escape, and turn into a gnat. Worst case scenario, you “wake up” two hours later with no memory of being a gnat. Eventually, you’ll learn all the ins and outs of your power and you’ll be able to use it for almost anything.

    Conclusion: There may be unanswered questions, but being able to transform into absolutely anything is definitely the most versatile and tied with seeing into the future for the most useful.

    With no further information, I’d pick pink. However, if there is somebody there who knows exactly what each pill could do and could answer all my questions, it’d be a different story. If all the answers are good, it’d be a tough choice between shapeshifting, seeing the future, and flying.


    • Also, I didn’t really consider the fact that, for the touch of love pill, you could make someone insanely famous and/or rich and/or powerful fall in love with you, meaning that you would gain a share of their life. If you could manage to touch someone in that ridiculous amount of power and make them instantly love you, it’d probably be worth picking that pill over the others.


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