Friday Firesmith – The Lesbian Wife And The Porn Magazine

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Back when I was a land surveyor there were no computers or GPS or anything like that. We used the same instruments for surveying that the Egyptians had used when they built the Pyramids and after a full summer as the low man on the food chain on the crew I came to some interesting conclusions as to what caused the Sahara Desert.

My job was to clear away the brush between two points and I think I cleared enough low bushes and small trees to make a landing site for the mother ship. If the Pyramids had been surveyed then there was some guy out there who did a lot of clearing. The company I worked for had rotating crew chiefs for crews so one day we drew the lot and got the very first College Kid that had ever worked for the company. CK turned out to be okay, but he had no field experience. I became his best friend because CK was terrified of snakes. The fact that I caught them without any hesitation astounded him into long periods of outright babbling. He was really impressed that someone, anyone, did and would catch a snake. Of course, CK didn’t know any better at all and I presented most water snakes to him as the dreaded Cottonmouths. But as far as someone went with a degree and no experience the man really tried hard and we all liked him.

One day as we were heading to the woods CK was totally silent. We knew he had been married for less than a year, had built a nice home for he and his wife and they wanted kids while they were still young. His wife ran the household and he called her “My Boss” but he meant it affectionately. So the day wore on without any comment at all from CK but right there in the middle of lunch he said without any emotion, “I think my wife is a lesbian”.

Whoa!

Talk about a conversation turner. We settled down to listen to him tell us that he had found porn, real dirty smutty porn, hidden in his home, which he had not bought or brought. It was one of those triple X rated magazines that even winos don’t like to be caught looking at. We wanted to see the evidence before we rendered judgment.

So the next day CK brings the magazine and it is even worse than it appeared. It was terrible, at least as far as porn magazines go. We were actually shocked because this man had spoken in tones of reverence in regard to his wife and this…

Naturally, we had advice to give him. Everyone thought he ought to leave it on the bed and wait. I told him to put it back on top of the cabinets where he had found it but leave a small piece of paper on it so if it was moved he would know when she had looked at it. He chose to confront his
wife about being a lesbian.

The rest of the crew and I shot some pool after work and took bets. Was this woman really looking at hard cord porn mags? We were intrigued but I didn’t think so. I thought there had to be a reason the magazine was there and in the end it was even more embarrassing than CK could have ever imagined.

Okay, turns out he found the magazine on top of the kitchen cabinets. He had climbed up there to retrieve a rubber band that he was trying to fit around something and lo… there it was, the dirtiest of all dirty magazines. CK presents the magazine to his wife who reacts strongly and negatively. An argument breaks out as to the origin of the magazine.

Then as if on cue they look up at the kitchen cabinets and then back at each other. With growing horror they realize there is only one answer; the person who installed the cabinets had to have
left the magazine there when the work was being done. Her father had installed the cabinets.

 

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit


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