Tom Swifties

John Walkenbach has a post (and a link) on his Google+ page about Tom Swifities.  Here are just a few of the ones I found funny:

  • “I wish we had some flowers,” said Tom lackadaisically.
  • “My aunt? I don’t know her from Adam”, said Tom adamantly.
  • “I adore hamburgers” , he said with relish.
  • “Jesus Christ,” Tom said crossly.
  • “I know nothing,” said Alex Roidrequezly
  • “The prisoners will be released in the order that they were apprehended,” said Tom consequentially.
  • “Oh I dropped my toothpaste behind the sink”, he said, crestfallen.
  • “The Babe has been fired!” said Tom ruthlessly.
  • “I manufacture table tops,” said Tom counterproductively.
  • “This sea-spray will ruin all the metal-work,” said Tom mistrustfully
  • “Show no mercy killing the vampire,” said Tom painstakingly.
  • “i’m never on time,” Tom said belatedly.
  • “Fire!” Tom shot back.
  • “Fire!” Tom shot back.
  • “Today’s special is the tilapia,” the waiter said selfishly.
  • “I prefer the dark,” said Tom delightedly.
  • “My aunt is never on time,” Andy Griffith said belatedly.
  • Let’s play Bingo, said Tom benignly.

Hundreds more here


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