Business nicknames

RED LOBSTER
Dead Lobster
Led Robster
Fish Stickster

POTTERY BARN
Robbery Barn

APPLEBEE’S
Crapplebee’s
Applebutt’s

OLIVE GARDEN
Ketchup & Noodles

McDONALD’S
McSquat
Mickey D’s
Burp
Rotten Ronnie’s

WHITE CASTLE / KRYSTAL
Sliders
Colon Blow
Gut Bombs

WAFFLE HOUSE
Awful House
Awful Waffle
The Hungry Bastard (ask for some booger bread on the side)

TARGET
Tar-Jay
Heaven

SUBWAY
Suckway
Sandwich Artist’s Colony
Blandwich

PIZZA HUT
Pizza Slut
Pizza Butt
Pizza the Hutt
Cheese On A Cracker

WAL-MART
Wally World
Aisle Of Cram
Hell
Always Screaming Babies. Always.

FUDDRUCKER’S
Pudfuckers
Buttfuckers

CHILI’S
Willi-Nilli’s
Upchucki’s

BLIMPIE
Skimpie, Home Of The Air Sandwich

WHOLE FOODS
Whole Paycheck
Whore Foods

BED, BATH & BEYOND
Bed, Bath and Beyond My Budget
Bed, Bath and Behind

MAJIK MARKET
Tragic Markup

NEIMAN MARCUS
Needless Markup

DENNY’S
The Roach
Drunky’s

TOYS ‘R US
We Be Toys

HOME DEPOT
Home Despot

LOWE’S
Slow’s
Blows

RESTORATION HARDWARE
Fistoration Hardware

OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE
Steakback Outhouse

STEAK & ALE
Ache & Stale

ARBY’S
Barfby’s
I’m Thinkin’ Diarrhea

TACO BELL
Taco Hell
Toxic Hell
Taco Smell
Make A Run For The Toilet

STARBUCKS
Starfucks
Burnt Coffee

BABY SUPERSTORE
Baby Pooperstore

JACK IN THE BOX
Yack In A Box
Jack In My Box
Jack In The Crack
Gag In The Bag

FRIDAY’S
Flair

CHIK-FIL-A
Chicken Jesus (owned by devout Christians and closed on Sundays)

PUBLIX
Pubelicks
Pubics

PIGGLY-WIGGLY
Hoggly-Woggly

PUBLIX + PIGGLY WIGGLY =
Wiggly Pubelix

DAIRY QUEEN
Scary Queen
Fairy Queen
Dairy Squeeze

DUNKIN’ DONUTS
Drunken Dognuts

I’m sure you can come up with more nicknames.

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29 thoughts on “Business nicknames”

  1. Starbucks:
    Fivebucks
    The worst fucking coffee on the planet. Plus, do you really have to take your lap top and do whatever it is you’re doing? Can’t you shut the fucking thing off once in a while and socialize, or do you enjoy being surrounded by people but completely alone?

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  2. Olive Garden:
    The McDonald’s Of italian food & wine
    or as we worker’s liked to call it: HELL (it’s still listed in my cell phone as that, someone once asked me who it was I told them it was my direct link to satan)

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  3. I’m with PIB on this one. I’d sooner brew my own from road gravel and used motor oil than patronize a Starbucks. Miserable people working there, even more lonely miserable people taking up space, starring at computers with earbuds shoved into their heads. “Hey peons, look at me, I’m trying to look very busy and I can sip overpriced bad coffee and read at the same time! See?…I must be a very important person!”

    Buy from your locally owned & family owned businesses while they’re still there. They’ll remember your name, what you like and how you like it, and they’ll make you feel at home. You’ll see genuine human smiles. They need you now more than ever.

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  4. I’ve never heard of Piggly Wiggly being called Hoggly Woggly. Probably because we actually had a Hoggly Woggly in town (Panama City, FL).

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  5. One of the all-nighter Dunkin’ Donuts around here is referred to as “Drunkin’ Grown-ups” because all the drunks go there after the bars close.

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  6. Use to know Goodwill Industries as “Uncle Willie’s.”
    Also in our town here we had a nursing home for dementia patients called “Quincy Manor,” but we use to refer to it as the “Golden Girls.”

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  7. Jack-in-the-Box = E.Coli in the box
    Food Lion = Grub Kitty
    Save-A-Lot = Save-A-Peso
    Little Caesar’s = Little Sleazer’s
    Nissan Murano = Manuro
    Honda Element = Excrement
    NPR = Nazi Propaganda Radio
    MSNBC = BSNBC
    ….and many more…

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  8. Where is Burger King? AKA “BK Lounge”.

    McDonalds is also called “Mackers”

    Growing up, we always called KFC “Kentucky Friend Rodent”.

    In our family we call the salad bar chain Sweet Tomatoes “Rotten Tomatoes”.

    Smart & Final – Fart N’ Smile

    There is a dive bar in my hometown named “The Wildcat”. But everyone calls it “The Shitty Kitty”.

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  9. Hubby uses many of these and some more:

    Homo Depot or The Gay People’s Store
    We have a restaurant called Tampico Grill which he lovingly refers to as the Tampon Grill
    Washington Redskins = Foreskins
    Target = Tar-Gay

    I’m sure there’s more…

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  10. Dunkin’ Donuts: shrunken dognuts.

    When I was a kid living in Texas in the 70’s, we had 3 major grocers: H.E.B. (which stands for the founder, Harry E. Butts), Handy Andy, and Piggly Wiggly. I always figured if they merged they’d become Handy Andy’s Wiggly Butt.

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  11. My husband and I have always refered to “Linens and Things” as “Sheets and Shit”…that’s how we have it listed in our rolodex!

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  12. Of course “Best Buy” can truthfuly be refered to as “Worst Buy” or…”Best Lie”

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  13. One more…Walmaxdepomart…they all sell the same crap! Hey hon, where did you pick up this awesome box of paperclips? I found it at Walmaxdepomart. Hmmf…I’m sorry

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