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Ancient Chinese torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a very old Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

“I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”

“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”

“Ok,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old given her father’s age, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”

“Well, that’s pretty pathetic,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the large rock, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.” In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.”

via

4 comments to Ancient Chinese torture

  • DJ

    I am offended.

    –signed, A Large Rock.

  • infidel

    That is just too funny

  • Maoman

    rofl, Large rock, you need to chill. :D

    What i don’t get though, is how come when he looked down to see the rope on his left testicle was reaching the end, he didn’t notice the other rope? Or for that matter, how did he not feel them? A rope big enough to support a boulder like that would be pretty significant, and would immediately be noticed by anyone with a brain bigger than a pea.

    Aw damn, why do i always have to ruin jokes? lmao

  • WhatThe L

    maybe you didn’t see it because you were to busy trying this out for your self…lol

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