House Sitting

So my friend went on a vacation for a week and asked me to take care of his place for him. Everything was going fine, for the most part.

On the third morning he gave me a call and asked: “So how is everything going?”

“The house is fine,” I said, “but your cat died.”

“Wha . . .” click He hung up on me.

Later that day my friend called back and said, “Sorry I hung up on you. I was just so distraught. It really ruined my day. I wish you had given me the news a little more slowly.”

“How’s that?” I asked.

“Well, maybe you could have told me that my cat had climbed on the roof and wouldn’t come down. The tomorrow you could have told me you were trying to get him down, but he wouldn’t budge. The next day you could have said he’s not eating, then the following that he had died. At least it wouldn’t be so shocking.”

“Ok, sorry. Next time I’ll know better.”

He said, “it’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it. So how’s my mom?”

“She’s climbed on the roof and I can’t get her down.”

via

 

Dirtbiking Gone Bad

Thanks Ernie

 

Christmas Wrap Prank

Thanks Janet

 

Seeing Eye Dog

Seeing eye dogTwo women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman Said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar for a drink.”

The lady with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The one with the Doberman said, “Just watch, and do as I do.”

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”

The woman with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand.


This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Doberman?”

The woman said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”

The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”

The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, “What the heck,” so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.


Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”


The woman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog”


The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”


The woman with the Chihuahua said, ………


“A Chihuahua ? They gave me a damn  Chihuahua ?!”


Thanks Mike F


 

A husband and wife had a fight…

Husband and wife have a fight

Thanks Shifty

 

B&P Link Dump

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Heartwarming Story Of Leo, A Paralyzed Puppy  Right arrow

Acute Subdural Hematoma Surgery (Brain bleeding)

Perfect Wish List –  Put your entire family’s wish lists online

45 Ultimate Tips For Men

How Good Is Your Memory?  I got them all right! (Pure luck)

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A Powerful Classroom Lesson About Privilege

Four female prison guards impregnated by same inmate

Ice Cream Hacks

 

What a beautiful world it would be…

What a beautiful world

Thanks Megan

 

Rough day reporting

Rough day reporting

Thanks Mike (from Spain)

 

I’m not an alcoholic

I'm not an alcoholic

Thanks Mike (from Spain)

 

Vegan cat food

Vegan cat food

Thanks Mike (from Spain)

 

 
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